The Semester that Was (i)

It has been almost three years since I entered college. And I can say that at this point in time, I am in the verge of what has been and what is becoming to be.

For the first two years of my stay in the universities, I may say that I had it the easy-flow-with-comfort-zone type of life. I had debate organization, I had no grades lower than 2, I am okay, contented, and... 'okay'- as how I would describe it best not until this semester.

A lot has changed. From the lessons taught in school to questioning your stand as a person. It had been more than a semester. And I can say that it was not just a semester. For a student to study, one must learn, but most of the time students just study in order to pass the courses or subjects. But this, this semester that passed has taught provided us doors for realizations and even better views of what exists from what really does not. From what or how our decisions of who we choose to be have been affecting the large scale society to the smallest unit of it, our families, to even our own personal lives.

Now, on a personal note, let me not spoil this opportunity to express myself dramatically. And if you have been reading my past blogs, this is very contrary and argumentative of what I said before. But on this note, I believe this is the best part of what I have learned as a whole for the semester that was.

For the first half of the sem, I was not noticing the impact of the demanding changes I ought to have. And mind you, these are not the usual changes but for sure, it is for the better. My circle of friends have given me variating views of how a 'student' should live out his title. One can be very nominal and just have the sem as it is and then, pass it just for the heck of it- to pass a level. Or one can have this education system though sometimes fallible, but take heart of it and learn from it as how it should be taken by everyone which is to be 'educated'. Cheating has been a loud clamor ever since, and it may not even be undeniable for most. But for most of the friends I had and still have =) (let me do the drama, you know.) , it is much of a problem and a compromise to what this system has been imparting to all of us. And I am happy to say that as how Ate Joan have quoted it, "Grades with Integrity."; I have not cheated. Confidence. Honestly, before, I believed for myself that I do not have this. Seriously. And I know that these changes may take time, well, as for me. But I guess I am now not in the boat of seeing myself away from this. I am thankful to God that He has used my friends in such a way that I cannot resist their influence in a GOOD way. I will never forget that one time when Miah became so dialectic with me that we had a really overwhelmingly demanding-almost-annoying conversation. He started asking me about myself--- endlessly and I almost died (seriously. HAHA). He asked me why is it that I just always go with the flow and else. From my stand point months ago, I was still with myself that I am that kind so you cannot battle with me from asking who I am. I am that. I am that. From today's stand point, that conversations changed a thought in me. Telling about Ate Joan, who is a gentle ate that corrects me softly in a way but also MOST of the time, tells it to me right in the face made our friendship a wonderful one. She is indeed a blessing. I love it whenever she corrects me. Though sometimes, I am hardheaded, extremely talkative, wierd and... everything else in between that she knows, she guides me like an ate. Since I have no ate, I somehow see her as an Ate. A literal Ate-- part of myself. So there, her gentleness had paved ways for me to understand things better than what my comprehension can take but also, her, letting me have it all by myself knowing for herself that I can handle it changes everything. Those moments I cannot forget- as such in the sudden ambush interview of our PPC professor about my stand points in love. I appreciated it so much because they wanted me to learn. Another is taken in our daily experiences- talking with friends. And the rest is just history. HAHA. And for the rest of my friends, their expression of valuing the friendship just makes it complete.

Looking back, I am intimidated by almost everyone and just shut up inside a box made by myself knowing that no one would notice. That was me. But as I can see it from this view, now, these blessings has changed me a lot. And I guess it would not need enumerations to prove them. I am just so blessed that God has given me friends like them. But at the end of these all, I still have a lot to learn, still. And I am excited to have them step by step. <3